White Flag, I'm Done

It's 4pm on Friday November 11, 2011 and I've just come out of a meeting with my boss and the new Site Leader of the New York location, another manager was on the phone, and one of the creatives was in on the meeting as well. As we go over the floor plan the SL has managed to move just about everyone around in the office like it's a game of musical chairs. It's so apparent that now she's in charge she is definitely going to show who has the big panties around the office. I sit there and simply try to "Play nice in the sandbox", after all I'm just there to execute the plan. I really don't give too Shitnicks who sits where but me. And speaking of ME this is where I really came to terms with how of a non-entity I really am at this place. Ms. Big Panties made it clear that she did not want me in an office let alone a cube and takes it upon herself to move me into a Junior spot. I deal and decide, if everyone is moving I can play along to. However when my Boss tags teams me and makes it clear that he feels I should be in a less than junior spot I'm speechless and feel as if a brick has hit me in the face, ONCE AGAIN. After all I have done, after all my accomplishments, he refuses to see me for the senior employee that I am. Yet I am the one he ships out to fix others mishaps, I'm the one who knows how to put a circle into a square peg, and I'm the one who makes it happen! But this doesn't surprise me all that much, he's done this to me before and I really don't have any fight left in me at this point. I just agree with everything they say and can't wait to get the hell out of the meeting. At that point I have decided that it's time to leave and move on. My time here is done, five years in...that's long enough. Yet as empowered as I feel, I can't help but feel like everything in my life is just not working. Things with my son who just recently transferred to Howard University is facing leaving school after one semester because we cannot find the money to keep him there. The apartment I'm trying to get is putting me through more drama due to my credit than the apartment is worth. I mean really....it's a fourth floor walk-up two bedroom apartment. I was approved for a two floor two bedroom, 2.5 bathroom with a fireplace in Atlanta. And to top it off, I know for a fact that there are people living in that apartment building who are on public assistance. Yet they want me to supply everything put a blood sample for the apartment. So not worth it. To add misery to the pain that is my life I found out that my 16 year old daughter got a tattoo......a friggin tattoo. There are not enough letters on this keyboard for me to express how upset I am with this girl. What type of tat you wonder? It's a heart and the letters KJ for her so called "best friend" aka her boyfriend Keith. To top it off its a bad job, the tat is done very poorly. If you're wondering if her "bff" got a matching tat the answer is NO!! Now she's branded for life, so stupid. Well she's going to have to live with that mess now, because I'm not shelling out $1K to have it removed. She can forget that shit! All of this along with the fact that I'm living as a roommate with my soon to be ex-husband who has now decided to lock me out of the master bedroom. What an asshole! Yes, I sleep in my own room, however there are times that I need to get things out of there. Whatever, he just confirms each day why I need to get the hell out of here. Oh and did I mention that he has a girlfriend and makes it very known. Um yeah...........my sentiments exactly! Anyone who was dealing with all that I am right now would have thrown in the towel some time ago, but I'm trying to stick it out on the premise that "things will get better". BUT TODAY AT WORK WAS THE LAST STRAW..THE STRAW THAT BROKE MY GOD DAMNED BACK! After I left the meeting and went to my desk I felt a sadness, then a calm come over me. I realized that it was time, it was time to move on and leave this dead end job behind. Leave this marriage, leave all the drama, just run and never come back. My boss had made the decision for me and I was going to get my house back in Atlanta and get the fuck out of dodge. At that very moment, I heard a whisper in my ear, a familiar voice that tells just the right thing to do when it's clench time. Today the voice said "your 401K, cash out your 401K". I didn't hesitate and made the calls and yes, I would be able to move to Atlanta and manage my finances while looking for a job. Yes I can move, Yes I can do it, Yes, Yes, Yes! I'm doing this for me and it's going to go down quite rapidly.............what am I waiting for? Nothing absolutely nothing. New York here's my white flag, I'm outta here!

~SOTM~

#Life #Career

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